Greta and Me – Part 1

My trusted attorney, Greta Van Susteren, sold me out, but in retrospect, I should have been wary of her, because a Washington Post reporter who interviewed my mother suggested that I retain her as my defense lawyer. And the Washington Post did everything in its considerable power to cover up the true facts of my case and also to assassinate my character.

My initial meeting with Greta, which lasted around three hours, occurred after the Secret Service had raided my home. I furnished her with the nuances of my life over the preceding three years. I explained the DC blackmail operation that ensnared me, and I named several powerful and affluent men who either procured escorts through me or procured them through one of the architects of the blackmail operation. I also edified (enlightened?) her about the pedophile network that was organized by these architects. In addition, I mentioned the threat that had been parsed out to me by a member of George H.W. Bush’s cabinet. I handed her credit card receipts, copies of checks, and lists of my clients too.

Greta never seemed perturbed or shocked by any of my revelations, but took them all in stride very professionally. Greta said that she had previously handled sensitive cases like mine in federal court, and she told me that the government would be averse to baring such sordid details in a court of law—she felt that I would most likely end up with probation. She said that if I were indicted, she would make a motion for the government to release a list of my clients, and that would force the government to be conciliatory towards me. Greta impressed me with her aplomb and also with her quick, snappy answers to my numerous questions, so I left her office feeling a sense of tranquility that I hadn’t experienced in months.